Spiritual Encounters

Have you ever seen a ghost or felt a presence? I love a good ghost story!

I’m full of stories but have little ‘evidential’ proof of anything I’ve seen or felt. Some are not my stories but belong to my family. There’s a good story relating to my sister. This is how I remember the story being told to me anyway.

When my sister was born she was one of a pair of twin girls. Tragically, her twin, Anita, died at only 6 weeks old. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or Cot Death weren’t really recognised back then but it is likely this is what sadly caused her death but we will never really know.

As a family we have all ‘talked’ to Anita over the years. Even me, despite having never known her as the tragedy happened 7.5 years before I was on the scene. Anita has always been part of our family and I still strongly believe she is my Mum’s Guardian Angel. I have always felt a link or a bond with her.

Anyway, I’m digressing a bit. My sister, too, has always talked to her but there was a time in her late teens or early twenties that she wondered whether Anita was actually listening. So she asked her for a ‘sign’. The next day my sister was getting ready for work when she couldn’t find her work boots. My mum had a similar pair so my sister assumed my mum had gone to work wearing them – it wouldn’t have been the first time. Later that day when both my mum & sister returned home from work my sister joked with my mum about her going in the wrong boots, however, my mum said she hadn’t she had worn her own & proved it! They searched high and low but couldn’t find my sister’s boots. So that night my sister said she believed her twin was there could she just have her boots back now.

The next morning, while my Dad was getting ready, he found my sister’s boots on a shelf in his wardrobe. There is no way anyone could’ve put them there as a ‘mistake’ and no one would’ve done it as a joke. No one even knew what my sister had said to her twin that night.

I have stories that are my own too. Such as the sleep paralysis I’ve experienced – as many others have reported, I felt an evil presence in the room trying to ‘get’ me (it happened 3 times in one night and again the next night before I decided I was too scared to sleep & stayed awake watching the TV!). I’ve also started to drift off one night when I ‘saw’ a bright light in the room the other side of my closed eye-lids. I opened my eyes to see a face staring down at me. Frightened but realising it was probably a trick of my eyes, I closed my eyes and opened them again expecting the face to be gone. It wasn’t, it was still there! I desperately woke Stuart up but by then it had gone.

When I was younger, my Mum always used to jokingly call me a witch. I used to intuitively ‘know’ things. I often know when something bad or good is going to happen (but can’t always tell whether it is going to be good or bad). I have predicted things will set on fire (and more recently I dreamt about a fire and knew it was a premonition – although this is the only premonition dream I’ve recognised). I’ve known when I’m going to win a prize in a raffle and what that prize will be (I’ve done this a number of times – I don’t know when I get the ticket but know my number/name is the next to be called out).

I’ve heard things, felt things, I’ve even heard my own name ‘called’ by what sounded like my own voice. That didn’t scare me, it was just weird.

I studied my level 1 Reiki at the end of 2011. Just before I sat the course (but once I had already booked it) I started experiencing things such as unusual scents in strange places. Then after my Reiki course I saw, for the first time, what I believe was an angel or spirit guide. It was just a white orb about a foot in diameter  that slowly disappeared in the corner of the room. Again, I wasn’t scared, I was comforted. I have worked with angels for a while but have had no interaction or communication with them except my one way dialogue to them and through readings using my Angel cards.

I’ve often been too scared to ‘see’ anything and I’m told I have the ability to ‘see’ but they wont present themselves to me if I don’t want it. As I’m getting older and more aware, I am realising when I do experience something I rarely feel fear these days, unless its late at night and I’m on my own in the house – or I see a scary face!! Oh, and the sleep paralysis can be extremely frightening.

Everything I’ve experienced I’m sure can be explained by a sceptic but I still believe in the things I have seen or experienced and I believe them to be spiritual.

I would love to hear your stories if you have any. Do you believe? Were you a non-believer until something happened to you that changed your mind?

Wake me up, I can’t breathe!

A few times in my adult life I have experienced something rather frightening when I sleep called Sleep Apnoea. Basically, its when you stop breathing in your sleep. This is obviously very serious and is more commonly experienced by very overweight people but there are other risk factors. Bizarrely, none of which I am aware of having. More information can be found about it on the NHS Choices website. I’ve not suffered with it often enough to make me seek medical advice (about once or twice a year then nothing for a year etc) though it is something that crosses my mind each time that it happens. Like now – as it happened again the night before last.

I was dreaming – I can’t remember the dream but I was struggling to breathe. Three times I fault to breathe before I eventually woke myself up. It really is frightening.

A couple of times, it has occurred because of having a cold which makes perfect sense. But usually it occurs in relation to a dream. It is never clear if my dream is a result of the sleep apnoea or the sleep apnoea a result of the dream.

One example of a dream I remember was someone was strangling me in my dream and I was struggling to breath. On this occasion I woke up with my hand near my throat but not in a strangling motion from what I recall. Other times have been less obvious a cause, just that I am struggling to breathe in the dream.

It has occurred to me whether, rather than being sleep apnoea it is actually a form of sleep paralysis which I have also had the displeasure of experiencing. Your mind and body are in a state of between sleep and waking up. Your mind wakes up but your body doesn’t (your body goes into a type of paralysed state when we sleep – for most people anyway, when it isn’t working properly is when we sleep walk etc). Your mind can play tricks on you making you hallucinate, and you have a deep sense of impending doom or someone is out to get you. Again, its extremely frightening. You try to escape this feeling, hallucination or whatever but your body is paralysed and wont let you. Even if you recognise that you are actually still asleep, you fight to wake up by moving your body but your body doesn’t move. Again, more can be found out about this on the NHS Choices website. Well, that’s the science behind it but there are also spiritual beliefs associated to sleep paralysis like you are caught between the spirit world and our world or that it is an actual attach by something paranormal. An explanation of this latter view is found on the Spiritual Research Foundation website. I’ll let you make up your own opinion on this one.

Whatever your beliefs, sleep paralysis would make more sense (as I don’t have any of the typical causes for sleep apnoea that I am aware of) as a cause can be sleep deprivation or irregular sleep patterns.

Thankfully, it didn’t happen again last and hopefully that will be it for another year or so. Although, I suppose that all depends on Millie and whether I get sleep! I guess it is also worth considering if it could have any links to fasting as it happened after a fast day.

Must be dreaming - an insight into my subconscious

I have been having some peculiar dreams of late which I know is common in pregnancy. Although I may regret letting you in on my mind, I'm fascinated in the psychology behind dreams so I wanted to document them somewhere.

As you'd expect, some are clearly related to anxieties that come with being pregnant & having a baby. Such as when both me and a friend both went into labour and had our babies at the same time. I had a boy. I was happily playing with my baby boy when it suddenly dawned on me that I was meant to have a girl. I wondered if the babies had been accidentally swapped so I asked my friend whether she was expecting a girl or boy and she confirmed a girl, which is what she had. So I spoke to the midwife and said I had a boy but was expecting a girl, was that right? She just yes as if it was totally normal so I just thought oh we'll and went back to playing with my baby boy. This is clearly related to my anxieties of having a boy when I am expecting and hoping for a girl. What I liked about the dream is how I just accepted things after double checking it was correct & I think this is an indication of how I'd be if this baby turns out to be a boy rather than girl.

Another baby related dream was me going into labour now (well last week but basically present time). Obviously, this was very early so I was in hospital and they were going to try this new thing of returning my baby back into my womb where we would hope it stayed until due date. Giving birth was painful but putting her back inside was even worse.

Another anxiety dream about this baby being early.

But then there have been dreams not involving me having a baby or being pregnant.

Last week I dreamt I had been asked to play the violin for a concert for the queen. In the dream I had just started learning to play again having not picked up the violin (same one) since I had lessons for a term when I was about 9. I think I had only had 1 lesson if that but I was showing the violin to friends playing in the concert too. Then the time came where we all had to stand on stage in a line and take it in turns to perform while the queen moved along the line, off stage. When it came to me I realised I could only play twinkle twinkle little star and that the violin hadn't been tuned since I was a child and the bow needed restringing with old broken strings all over the place. All this sunk in and I realised it would be the most embarrassing thing to attempt to play anything so I just stood there frozen. There was an embarrassing wait while everyone stood there waiting for me to play then after a long silence they moved along to the next in line. I can't remember much after except everyone was very supportive and understanding and I didn't feel too bad about the incident. I remember feeling that I hadn't prepared for such a big event when I know preparation is the most important thing in any big event. However, despite not being prepared, I had people there to support me.

Not a baby/pregnancy dream but I do think this relates to me not feeling prepared for the baby arriving but knowing I'll have people around me to help & support me.


The night before last I dreamt my mum & dad had a party in their house (not a house I recognise but had elements similar to my friends new house). About a week later they found a decomposing body under their sofa of someone who must have died at the party. The body looked slightly mummified. In addition, my mum had had a baby boy (I seem to remember he was called Arnold or Archie or something) but sadly the boy had died. He was meant to be newborn but was actually size of about an 18 month old. My dad had asked me to help him dispose of the bodies without reporting them to the police. I can't remember their justification now. I was scared of helping them but they were my parents and I didn't want them getting into trouble so agreed. They lived in quite a remote place with just one neighbour and there was a wood at the end of their garden. We were basically just going to throw the body in the undergrowth behind their garden and hope that a walker didn't spot it. The baby wasn't really a dominant thing in the dream, the focus was on the random dead guy.

Last night's dream wasn't scary or gruesome like the above.

First I had been asked to decorate someone's house but I'd paint the first coat of the room then they'd change their mind and want it done a different colour. Then I was decorating a house with Stuart. We lived there - many of the features were similar to a house where my best friend at school grew up although the kitchen was different and smaller. I would paint the lounge or kitchen a colour I liked then Stuart would say he didn't like it so I had to do it again. The first colour was a dark red, sort of a red wine colour. Then it was a dark green but he then made me paint over it with beige.

I thought this last dream was a fairly easy one to analyse. I know that the people in our dream are often representations of ourselves and aspects of our character. Houses and the rooms in the house again a representation of our self, our emotions, personality, body etc. However, looking into this, it just left me confused. I wasn't sure if the people did represent myself or other people. The painting represented trying to change aspects of myself or emotions. The kitchen is emotions or aspects of the heart. The colours of the paint represented:

• Red = passion, love, anger
• Green = jealousy, envy, nature
• Beige = as you can imagine, neutral, bland, dull, plain

To me it's like I'm starting with so much energy & enthusiasm but then with each coat of paint I'm being 'dummed' down. What's not clear to me is whether I'm doing this to myself or others are doing this to me. Also whether it is a good or bad thing. Instinct tells me negative. Also, what is interesting, during trying to analyse it I found myself becoming upset and crying and unable to look too deeply into it. Is this just pregnancy hormones or part of the reason for the dream not the cause. I would particularly love to hear anyone else's views on this. I think it would help to talk to someone else who was as equally as interested in dreams as me but perhaps knows a bit more than I do. So, anyone got a psychic link to Freud or Jung please?

April Showers

After my miserable winter blues, it may surprise you to hear, I’m not adverse to a bit of rain once in a while. In fact, I quite enjoy it. It has to be a proper full on downpour, mind you, none of that horrible dreary, hardly-raining-but-soaks-you-right-through-kind-of-rain, and you can’t beat an electrical storm. The best storm I’ve ever seen was when I drove down to the seafront in Barton-on-Sea, Hampshire and watched it coming in across the sea from the Isle of White. Amazing! As long as I feel ‘safe’, I think they are great. I do get a little “eek!” as they get ever closer, but when you see the forks across the dark sky, it turns to “eee” in excitement.

Then after the rain everything has been refreshed like its been cleansed. All green and lush looking again, and the smell…it reminds me of when I was younger when we went on holiday in the caravan at Easter – it always rained! Not much fun when you are about 10 and stuck in a caravan playing cards listening to the drumming of the rain on the caravan roof, but when you got up in the morning, that fresh rain smell was so lovely. Most of the time, despite the rain, the caravan memories are happy ones.That’s why I love being taken back to those times like I am whenever it rains.

There is also something quite comforting when the seasons behave themselves and the weather actually happens when you expect it to – snow in January, April showers and, with a bit of luck, sun throughout June, July, August & September! Well, I can hope!

Then there are the summer rain storms. The ones after a very hot sticky day that make you want to go and dance around naked in them…though that might just be me…..! I remember when I was a teenager feeling a bit blue for some unknown reason. but as teenagers do (hormones!), and getting caught in a torrential downpour on the 5 minute walk from my aunt’s house to ours. I enjoyed it so much I took a slow walk around the block in it and felt so alive. It really lifted my mood. I was drenched through but happy again!

So yes, I do like the odd spot of rain once in a while. Just as long as, after the rain, comes the sun again!

Our House, In the Middle of Our Street

We’re in! We’ve moved.

Sorry for the blog silence of late but it has been for two reasons:

1. because I am pregnant the Pregnancy-Mummy Diary is getting most of the attention; and
2. because we’ve been moving house and, apart from not having the time, we were also without internet for 2 weeks.

But all is well now and we are settling in nicely and making it feel like home…slowly but surely!

One thing I’d thoroughly recommend is getting removal men! Big win!

I’ve been parping on about doing so for a while. I tried to get Stuart to agree when we moved from Godalming to Bournemouth but he wouldn’t do it. I’d showed him lots of positive stories and was bringing him on side but then my parents put him off. This time, I was determined! I am pregnant and the last thing I wanted to be doing was lugging big boxes around the house etc and also, we were struggling to fit in the house as we were, we had no where to store a mountain of boxes again. Stuart finally agreed subject to me getting a good price! We were moving less than 2 miles up the road and from a small 2 bed house with no loft, garage or shed etc so I was hopeful.

I got 2 quotes – both from highly rated companies on check a trade. The first one quoted around £800 (incl of tax). I thought this was far too high and my hopes were dashed. The second company was also recommended by a colleague from Stuart’s (and my but that’s another blog post) work. They quoted less than £500 (incl tax) – bonus! We signed them up quick!

They did exactly what we wanted them to do – they packed, they moved and they got it all done in one day which was a day earlier than planned too. They were called Brown & Brown Removals if anyone local is interested.

Moving on (pardon the pun), we have also ordered our new sofas and I’m very excited. We ordered them from Next and they should be here in about 3-4 more weeks. We’ve also bought some new curtains for the lounge & dining room although they need to be taken up before they are hung, and also curtains for the spare room. We are still a long way from being where we want to be as we need lots of storage and other bits and ends but we are making steps in the right direction. Oh, how could I nearly have forgot…and our HUGE MAHOOOSIVE American style fridge that I was very excited about! I LOVE it!

Callum has adapted well to the move, as I hoped (and thought) he would. He has so much room to run around in, why wouldn’t he?

I also think we have (friendly) company. We obviously left someone behind when we moved as the doorbell went shortly after we were in and when Stuart went to open it, there was no one there. There was no sign of it being kids having fun and its not a very big street so unlikely. I’m pretty sure ‘someone’ just wanted to be let in. Also, I was ill in bed a couple of weeks after we’d moved and I heard running up the stairs and automatically thought it was next door – then remembered we are detached. Shortly after, I heard footsteps as if running on the laminate floor in the dining room – kitchen area. I don’t feel uncomfortable here though and even when I’ve been in the house on my own (with Callum asleep) I’ve not been scared so I’m not worried and I quite like the company as I am sure its friendly.

Spiritual Pamper Fayre

I went along to a psychic fayre today. The Reiki Master that will be teaching me Reiki, Lorraine, was the organiser and told me about it.

The event involved a number of stalls selling jewellery, spiritual books, aloe vera products, scrummy looking cakes as well as, as you’d imagine, spiritual ‘practitioners’ offering Reiki treatments, aura photography, past life readings, Tarot readings, Ascended Master readings, mediumship, psychic art plus much  more. There were also a number of free workshops running throughout the day with an hour of mediumship as well.

It was nice to see it had attracted a lot of interest as the one I attended in Surrey was a bit of a let down – there were hardly any stalls and it was empty of visitors.

As I say, this was quite the opposite. That said, there wasn’t much on the stalls selling stuff that took my interest – except the scrummy looking cakes but I really wasn’t hungry. I would have liked to see more crystals on sale – in fact, I didn’t see any (think I was after them when I went to one in Surrey but they didn’t have any either). However, there was such a wide range of readings available which, for me, was my main interest in going anyway.

I would have loved to have gone to the past life reading but it was one of the more expensive sessions and was unsurprisingly very popular with lots of times booked up so I decided to go for an Ascended Masters reading. This isn’t something I had heard of before so was intrigued to see how it varied to Angel Readings and Tarot (Angel readings are what I do and I have had a Tarot reading numerous times in the past and have also read my own Tarot card in a workshop once). Afterwards, I felt it was not too dissimilar to a Tarot reading though perhaps with a slightly different focus, I can’t really explain. The practitioner,Pauline, did say that because she reads Tarot as well, this may have an influence over how she reads the Ascended Masters cards.

Anyway, on with the reading. I pulled out 8 cards one at a time which Pauline placed on the table in a sequence. She then turned them over in turn. The first one up – Angel Healing and she said “I get from this that you are a healer yourself or you should be”- well, if that wasn’t a sure sign that I am starting on the right path with my Reiki, I don’t know what is! The reading also said the path I was embarking on was the right one – there was a very positive and definitive ‘Yes’ card!

Another thing that came out from the reading was that I have an artistic talent and that I need to do more of whatever it was. She felt this was music but this is not something I’ve actively pursued. I really enjoy music but I think I’m a bit late to be becoming talented in anything to do with it. I have, however, been trying to do more drawing recently and wonder if this is it. I’m no expert, I’m not the next Van Gogh or Monet, I wouldn’t even call myself an artist, it is just something I enjoy doing and the end result mildly resembles what I intend it to look like (she also said I should speak of my strengths not play them down or highlight may faults…yeah, this is me trying to do that…one step at a time). As an example, here is my latest offering. Its the tree that lives on the green in front of our house – it looks lovely with the autumn sun shining on its yellow leaves – it inspired me to draw it!

The reading was so clear and the majority of it made immediate sense to me.The reading was meant to be half an hour but the cards were so clear that we were finished in 10 minutes so she asked me if I had a specific question and to choose 6 more cards.

With my thoughts being very much around work at the moment and whether I should be pushing myself harder to find a job and what that job should be, my next question was “should I get a job?”.

The cards were showing that, for now, I shouldn’t be looking for a job as I needed the time to really figure out what I wanted to do and to ‘find myself’. OK, she didn’t use such a cliché but that’s pretty much how I interpreted it. I needed to work on a few things with myself and to not stress about a job. When the time was right, I’d meet someone who would help me get the right job. She also said that, once I had made up my mind what I wanted to do and when the time was right for me to get a job, I should make sure I get a good work/life balance and that I shouldn’t fully adopt just one area of my life and let the others go by the wayside.

This was reassuring. I may have said before that when the time is right for me to do a particular ‘thing’ it kind of just falls in my lap. I’m very lucky that I don’t have to fight hard for it. Yes, I usually (not always) have to go through the hard task of an interview or interviews like everyone else, and they are often far from easy, but it will happen that the job almost seeks me out rather than me seek it out. I have also fought hard for things that weren’t right for me or didn’t come about. So, perhaps I haven’t been searching for a job as hard as I could have and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being lazy by putting all my faith in fate. I am very lucky that I have this privilege and I appreciate that if circumstances were different I’d be taking whatever job I could get but I was reassured to hear this is the right approach for me. She said if I stress about it then it wont happen but if I relax and take my time it will all fall into place. This is so much like my life. Something I should remind myself of often.

She then did a third general reading of a further 6 cards which did more to enforce what had already been said with more of the ‘Yes’ card!

I did go to the hour’s mediumship too. There were 3 mediums that did a 20 minute session each. The second one came to me with a young boy who was in spirit world that went to my school and that I was close to who passed away young (when I questioned her on this she said between the age of 6 and 17) from a childhood illness. The only person I could relate this to was one of my best friend’s brother who died of Leukaemia when my friend and I were in the final year of Junior school (her brother was in senior school). I remember it well and it was terribly sad at the time but I can’t think of why he would be coming to me. Although I was close to my friend, I wasn’t close to her brother and I was at the age where I didn’t fully appreciate death and illness in the same way as we might do adults, unless you lose someone close to you.

Other than losing enthusiasm for my studies and that whatever I am doing this boy thinks it is the perfect thing for me I didn’t really get anything else from it. She finished with a name, Christopher or Chris, but didn’t say whether he was living or in spirit and didn’t give any further information about this.

The other thing that came to me was psychic smells. The third Medium was asking someone else if it meant anything to her. She asked her if she had started to notice unusual smells (which she calls psychic smells) like flowers and orange scent. This struck a chord with me because when I was running at the beginning of the week all of a sudden I’d smell a really strong smell which was completely strange for where I was – one of these occurrences was the strong smell of orange. It wasn’t quite the fruit but more like an orange scent or another flower with an orangey smell. There was no obvious source for this smell (I think I was running past a hotel carpark at the time) and it stayed with me for quite a while like it was following me. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me and I often smell scents which don’t make sense (pardon the pun) for what is happening around me – often they’ll be in my own home and will remain unexplained and will disappear as quickly as they arrived. When the lady she was talking to couldn’t understand it she asked the room so I raised my hand. She said when you start to open yourself spiritually your vibration becomes lighter enabling the spirits to try to ‘show off’ to you and this is one of the ways in which they do it. There have been a few strange things happening recently – more than normal – so this would make sense.

After the hour of mediumship I left the fayre to go and meet Stuart and Callum, who I had left exploring Moors Valley Country Park.

The event certainly left me with lots to ponder on.