Working Works For Me

I’m back working again! Yay! I’ve actually been there just over a month now – I started 8 March.

I have started working for Stuart’s company writing support and training material for users of their system for 2 days a week.

I struggle to fit in all the things I need to outside of work, like cleaning, and fun stuff with Callum, I have less time to meet friends etc. My course which I’m one assignment away from finishing has fallen by the weyside once more because I’ve lost my study time.

However, despite all this, I am loving it!

I am Me again. I’m enjoying the work. I can go in, pick up the work where I left off, pootle along pretty much on my own with little insecurities (just enough to make me care about my work etc but not enough to stress me out too much) and I feel like a real person again. Not to say that anyone that doesn’t work isn’t a real person – I just don’t feel like me if I am not working. My desk is at the other end of the office where a lot of the senior members sit or people that don’t really ‘talk’ so I don’t get much interaction with people during the day but actually, even that’s not too bad. I felt a bit lonely at first but I just plug in my headphones and, as already said above, pootle along.

I feel like I’m making friends…work friends admittedly, but people I can have social interactions with and can share a joke with etc.The benefit of working for the same company as Stuart is that I had already met a fair few people, taking away that uncomfortable period when you start a new job where you are the new kid and don’t know anyone.

Admittedly, there were a few weeks where I wasn’t invited to Fish & Chips on a Friday when Stuart was busy or not there but I was brave enough to ask to not to be forgotten today! I’ve invited myself onto the Fantasy Football team – purely so I’m not last in at least one league (I’m now 9th out of 12 instead of 3rd out of 3 or 16th out of 16). I butt into others conversations…oh, ok, I’ve always done that, oops! The point is, I am settling in nicely.

I was originally seated, when I first started, with part of my team so I had an opportunity to get to know some people and build some rapport (trainer speak) so, even though I now sit away from them, I can have the odd skype chat with them still and we’ve arranged to go for lunch a few times.

I’m even going out on a night out with work people and no Stuart next week. Yes, that’s right, going out without Stuart!!!! That’s the first time since October!!!! *faints*

As I said above I’m liking the work – I feel it is creative enough and perfect to pick up and put down for the 2 days I’m there. I’m not standing in front of a room training but I feel like I’m still using my training skills writing the materials doing stuff I’ve always enjoyed doing but didn’t have the time to dedicate to before because of the training commitments taking up most of my time. It sounds like there is more stuff in the pipeline, too, that I will enjoy being part of.

The worrying part is that I am contracted to work right up until the end of July – 27th to be precise. That’s 2.5 weeks before baby is due!!!! Just to remind people or inform those that are not aware, Callum was born 3.5 weeks early!!!! This could be scary! Not only that, I remember thinking around that time when pregnant with Callum – well much sooner than that obviously as Callum had already arrived at that point – but was pleased I wasn’t working and I didn’t know how people worked until so late in their pregnancies. But, I am hopeful, if I ‘am’ still pregnant, that I might still be ok as I wont be standing up training and I don’t have to commute.

I am already thinking ahead to after work too. I know it is easy for me to say now and I might feel quite different following the birth but I am hoping I will be able to go back and work there and they’ll have a job for me. I just hope I also make a good enough impression that they want me back. Its hard to say when I will want to go back right now but I know I was itching to go back when Callum was 1. I would imagine 9 months after would be enough for me. Stuart mentioned the potential to work school hours so I could work around Callum going to school – just work more but shorter days. That’s certainly something to consider.

For the first time in a long way I feel really positive, much more happy and I feel like I have a little bit of me back. For the moment, I may still be Stuart’s wife there but I am hoping, in time, I will just be Debbie!

April Showers

After my miserable winter blues, it may surprise you to hear, I’m not adverse to a bit of rain once in a while. In fact, I quite enjoy it. It has to be a proper full on downpour, mind you, none of that horrible dreary, hardly-raining-but-soaks-you-right-through-kind-of-rain, and you can’t beat an electrical storm. The best storm I’ve ever seen was when I drove down to the seafront in Barton-on-Sea, Hampshire and watched it coming in across the sea from the Isle of White. Amazing! As long as I feel ‘safe’, I think they are great. I do get a little “eek!” as they get ever closer, but when you see the forks across the dark sky, it turns to “eee” in excitement.

Then after the rain everything has been refreshed like its been cleansed. All green and lush looking again, and the smell…it reminds me of when I was younger when we went on holiday in the caravan at Easter – it always rained! Not much fun when you are about 10 and stuck in a caravan playing cards listening to the drumming of the rain on the caravan roof, but when you got up in the morning, that fresh rain smell was so lovely. Most of the time, despite the rain, the caravan memories are happy ones.That’s why I love being taken back to those times like I am whenever it rains.

There is also something quite comforting when the seasons behave themselves and the weather actually happens when you expect it to – snow in January, April showers and, with a bit of luck, sun throughout June, July, August & September! Well, I can hope!

Then there are the summer rain storms. The ones after a very hot sticky day that make you want to go and dance around naked in them…though that might just be me…..! I remember when I was a teenager feeling a bit blue for some unknown reason. but as teenagers do (hormones!), and getting caught in a torrential downpour on the 5 minute walk from my aunt’s house to ours. I enjoyed it so much I took a slow walk around the block in it and felt so alive. It really lifted my mood. I was drenched through but happy again!

So yes, I do like the odd spot of rain once in a while. Just as long as, after the rain, comes the sun again!