2012 Reflection and 2013 Projection

As is common at this time of year, I have been reflecting on the year just gone and thinking about what I want to achieve in the year ahead.

So, firstly, looking back. Its been a busy year!

It started on rather a low note as we had to say goodbye to our beloved cat Lottie who had been part of my life for 15 treasured years. Aside from the place in each of our hearts where she’ll always be, I am reminded every time I take to Callum to nursery or pick him up as the vets is right next door. It breaks my heart when on occasion Callum has looked over and asked where Lottie is.

Then life took a much brighter path as we bought and moved into our lovely house in March and then there was that small thing of having a baby girl in August!!!

Stuart has been through yet another hard & gruelling year at work – I swear every year he says it’ll be better the next year and then the next year is harder still. Its was hard for us as a family with work taking over precious family time more and more until it was with no surprise (but made no easier nonetheless) that Stuart fell ill when he went on to paternity leave and was forced (during long days spent unable to get out of bed) to consider his priorities. That was a turning point for him with how he balanced work time and family time. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t mean his work has got any easier and probably harder as he has had to try to squish much more into a shorter period as he had made the decision to make working from home the exception rather than the rule. But it has made a big difference to our evenings and weekends so I thank him for that sacrifice – and for a work-a-holic, I appreciate that it is in a way a sacrifice.

We had hoped that by now, following our relocation from Surrey to Bournemouth, to have grown our local social life a little more than we have. We knew that meeting people and making connections was going to be a slow process in a new place but its probably taken longer than either of us expected. Again, probably harder for Stuart as I have at least made many mummy friends especially through my addiction moderate use of Twitter but for Stuart, his only interaction with the outside (of our family) world so far has been at work. This is starting to change now though and I am hopeful we will both start socialising and meeting more people in 2013 [makes Puss in Boots eyes at you all].

The new addition to the family has been another life changing moment on a par to when Callum entered our lives. In some ways the transition from a family of 3 to family of 4 has been less of a shock to the system as from 2 to 3 but it brings with it different challenges and the hormonal breakdowns and sleep deprivation feels much tougher 4 years on from the first time. But when I think how blessed I am with my gorgeous son and beautiful girl, I both beam and shed a tear with happiness . I couldn’t ask for anything more wonderful than the family I have – and knowing that I hopefully wont have to be pregnant ever again just adds even more sparkle to it all (I’m not a very good pregnant lady – Stuart will testify!).

So it will be fair to say 2012 has been an emotional rollercoaster.

Which brings me on to my hopes for 2013.

Quite frankly, above all I hope for a much more chilled year! I wont be making any resolutions as such but there are things I would hope to achieve in the next year.

• OK, I best make it my first point as I’ve already mentioned it above– to start socialising more as a couple. Making the relationships we have already made stronger but meeting more people that we hope will become good friends of the future.
• In addition to the above, I would also like to see more of our current very good friends who are now spread over the UK as our paths have taken us on our different journeys.
• To go to Thailand. It is my current dream holiday. I spent a very brief couple of nights there with work back in 2007 and I’ve been desperate to go back there for leisure and to take Callum with me. Because it is only worth going there for a 2 week period, we would need to take the kids. For both cost and comfort reasons, if we don’t go this year, it would mean waiting several more years longer for either both kids to be old enough to stay with relatives, or we came into a healthy sum of money [checks the lottery numbers!] plus I consider Callum only now being able to cope with a long-haul flight without sending us crazy as the other passengers made plots to throw us out the plane without a parachute between us! I imagine it will be another 3-4 years minimum before Millie is at that stage too.
• I would like to find a good job which I love but allows me to balance my role as a mother. I very much see my job as a career and I feel sad to think I may not be able to embrace it in the same way I could before children. I worry about how I will manage the juggle of school/nursery runs, childcare and work. I wont lie, I have struggled with the sacrifice that my career will always be second to Stuarts as when we took the decision to have a family, my primary role became that of a mother. When I worked full time after having Callum – the balance worked out fine as Callum was in nursery but this year he starts school so I have the confusing arrangement of schools, breakfast clubs, after-school clubs, nursery, child-minder or whatever we decide best suits our lives. Others manage it, so I am sure we will too but I do see it as being one of my biggest challenges of 2013. Firstly finding a job I love and that works for me and secondly sorting out the childcare.
• Finally, as I’ve just mentioned, Callum starts school this year. I hope that he settles well in his new school and our little boy continues to grow in confidence as well as academically and enjoys himself along the way.

So, there you have it!

I’d like to say thank you to all of you who have followed my blogs and my journey through the 2012 and I invite you to stick with me through 2013 (here and here) as I value your support. I wish you all a very happy New Year and I hope you achieve all you desire for the year ahead, whatever that may be - and please feel free to share with me as I’d love to hear your hopes and dreams for 2013 too.

Oops! Catch up!

So, found myself recently writing blog posts in my head and my laptop time just can't keep up with me!!! Thought it was about time to reconnect with this blog and to start posting again to get what's in my head, taking up valuable organisation and OCD space, out so I can get back to my organising and OCD!

So, the major update that overrules any other....WE HAVE MOVED!

Here we now are living in Bournemouth!

We are currently living in a nice little 2 bed cottage in between Bournemouth and Boscombe. Just renting at the moment but are already on the hunt for our next house to buy. We are 10 minutes from the beach (*does a little dance), about a 15 minute pushchair walk (times by 10 when the 3 year old decides he wants to walk/meander) or 5 minutes by the many frequent buses that drive past our house into Bournemouth centre – to where all the shops are, 25 minutes from my parents and brother & sister-in-law with their offspring, less than 20 minutes from my sister & brother-in-law with their offspring – that’s all on the upside. On the downside, we are further from my in-laws, our friends in The Ming and to get into London without taking out a loan to pay for it, requires months of forward planning (to go there and back in one day is just short of £100 unless you are lucky enough to get well in advance tickets or go up the day before!! but that's another blog post!). 

Anyway, here is a picture of our little house.

Looking back now, the actual move wasn’t too bad. It had its stressful moments and its not so stressful moments. Callum was a dream and was ready to move as soon as we said go – in fact he didn’t want to go back inside the house or especially inside his room on the last day for some fear he was going to be left there or something.

Following the move was a hell of a lot more stress – for me at least, think Stuart is still in awe of his 7 minute walk to work – if you haven’t heard about it, count yourselves as one of the few. Reading back at my previous post I said I generally look forward to change but am often disappointed later when things don’t go as well as I anticipate. Well, yeah, that! I had a hard time adjusting. I’ve gone from being full time employed around friends in an environment I feel comfortable, familiar, to being a full time mum trying to arrange utility bills, change addresses around trying to be a (bad) mum in an unfamiliar place a long way from my friends. It was tougher than I expected and by the time we went on holiday to Portugal a few weeks later, lets just say it was a holiday much needed.

I came back from Portugal a much more chilled person and, more importantly, so was Callum! I found I could get stuff/chores/phonecalls done without too much protest from Callum and could then start to really enjoy being with Callum and all that being a Stay At Home Mum (SAHM) entails.

So, for my other hopes for our life in Bournemouth, what have I achieved and what has already fallen by the weyside? Lets revisit them:

 

Stuart gets a better work-life balance so he gets to spend more quality time with Callum - maybe even do some father-son stuff together. Achieved – Stuart puts Callum to bed most nights and we have more quality time together at weekends, as a family, even if Stuart has to work some of it.

Stuart and I get to spend more couple time together so we can focus on our relationship again - feel like it has been put on the back burner for a couple of years now. Hmmm…next! Seriously, we’ve not got round to it yet. Being the time of year, my parents are being kept busy so I’ve not wanted to take advantage so early on (or later for that matter). We’ve not found any other form of babysitter yet. That said, we have taken advantage on more than a few occasions of our proximity to Bournemouth and the many restaurant’s it has to offer and have gone out for dinner as a family on a Friday/Saturday evening. As for just the two of us…yeah, we need to work on that!

Stuart and I can start going body-boarding properly rather than just an attempt when we go to Devon/Cornwall - I'll worry about fitting back into the wetsuit later... the closest I’ve got is to be sitting on the beach with Callum and an ice-cream while watching jealously as the surfers and bodyboards hit the waves! To be honest, there haven’t been ‘that’ many opportunities with the waves being pretty flat but when they’ve been there, there’s not a lot I can do about it! Not with Callum about! I even tried to find him his first wetsuit in the hope I could kinda take him with me but, not for at least another year. He is still far too skinny!

Callum will get to grow up near the sea and beach Yep! We are definitely taking full advantage of that. It has been lovely to just walk to the beach, even if it isn’t so sunny. However, we have been lucky in that we’ve been having unusually high temperatures in October! Yes, October! We actually spent a day on the beach, and even went in the sea (very very briefly…frrrrr) at the beginning of October! I can’t see us ever getting bored of it – I hope we don’t ever take it for granted!

I can start horseriding  I’ve made enquiries! At the moment, I just don’t have the time. I have Callum most days and when I don’t I am either running around the house like a blue-arsed fly (does anyone other than my mum use that expression?) trying to clean the house or I am studying still trying to complete my CIPD Certificate. The end is in sight for the studying though so hopefully, maybe, if money allows, I can pick this up. I’ve now got a few (hundred) other interests I’ve remembered that I want to get round to….lets try to name them! So there’s horseriding of course; drawing (chalks primarily); Reiki; drama (yes acting is still on the cards); body-boarding (as above); climbing; knitting (yes, I did just say knitting); jewellery making…I am sure there are more! Just when am I going to fit all of that into one lifetime, I don’t quite know???

Going running along the beach Yes! Yes! Yes! I can definitely say I’ve achieved that one! About half a dozen times now or move ranging from 2.3 to 3.8 miles! Its not making much difference to my fitness or the amount I am eating/putting on weight but maybe….yeah…just maybe

So, that will do for the moment! Hopefully this blog post provides an update of where we are today. I hope to keep posting to this now that I’ve got it up to date. Starting straight away with my next post “A Day Trip to London”.