No Need to Fuss

I grew up as a fussy eater. Even though I consider myself to have a very varied diet these days and even, sometimes, adventurous, I can't shake that reputation as a fussy eater. It still follows me around.

In truth, the fussiest thing about me is my dislike for condiment sauces, such as ketchup, brown sauce, mayonnaise, salad cream, mustard etc (I like BBQ sauce). This may seem like such a small thing until you try to buy a pre-made sandwich!!

It can also be a big thing when going to someone's house for dinner as many dinner sauces (whether it's a marie rose sauce or a hollandaise) tend to be made with mayonnaise (I'm happy to eat mustard based sauces).

Anyway, I thought I would share some tales from my truly fussy days.

When I was about 9, I went on holiday with my parents to (former) Yugoslavia (now Croatia). Being a country that was recovering from war, the Yugoslavians tried very hard with their tourism. They tried to cater for the tourists in the usual style of burgers, pastas, pizzas but with a more touching way than you see in many tourist locations you get today. It really felt like they were trying to please. Unfortunately, they hadn't accounted for me! I didn't eat burgers because they usually got made with onions in the mix and I didn't like onions. I didn't eat pizza or pasta dishes like spaghetti bolognaise because I didn't like tomatoes. I didn't like fish. I did like plain meat like chicken and pork but, again, without any sauce.

To ensure I ate, my mum would cook me tea before we went out for dinner in the evening. My tea was a bowl of chicken noodle soup made from a packet. This was pretty much my diet for 2 weeks, along with a few chips and ice-cream - oh and a domestic sausage! (an interesting translation of homemade sausage).

You may think my mum was wrong to give in so easily to my whims! My aunt couldn't believe it but my mum said we were all on holiday and at least she knew I had eaten.

I actually tried it again today for the first time in years - it tasted like a bowl of dissolved chicken stock cube! I now can't believe I preferred that to everything else I refused in Yugoslavia.

Back home, my mum was never 'soft' when it came to eating.

Take everyone's favourite dislike, brussel sprouts! I actually like brussels now and don't think you can make a decent bubble 'n' squeak without it! But back in my childhood days, I hadn't yet acquired that taste. On a Sunday Roast day, my dinner would be dished up - the following would be a worst case scenario:

• Fatty, overcooked (in my now adult opinion), chewy roast lamb
• Roast potatoes (yum)
• Parsnips disguised as potatoes (just cruel to do that to a child!)
• Boiled carrots
• Boiled brussel sprouts of which there were 5 (the number is important)
• Gravy

Out of this dinner, the only things I disliked were the lamb, parsnips and sprouts and even the lamb would've been fine if it was another meat - or even cooked differently! And I'd eat the lamb until I hit on a piece that involved me chewing for 20 minutes. 

I'd be leisurely munching through my dinner then would come, from my mum 

"why aren't you eating your sprouts?"

"I don't like sprouts"

"Just eat 3"

"but I don't li..."

"eat 4!"

"but muuuu"

"eat 5!"

"muuuuum, I don't li"

"I'll start adding them on then, you'll eat 6".

Inevitably, I ate 3.

Then I'd bite into what I thought was a delicious looking potato "Yeurgh! What's this?" - it looked liked a potato, the same crispy golden skin but when I bit into it expecting delicious potatoey flavour, instead I got a horrid sweet taste. I like parsnips now...thanks to Jamie Oliver and his delicious bacon and maple syrup recipe, but think I would've liked them a lot sooner if my mum hadn't tried to disguise them. Your mouth expects one flavour and is then assaulted with another. It's never going to work!

That said...there were occasions when her sneakyness did catch me out! Tomato soup for example! You'll remember I didn't like tomatoes and that included tomato soup! My mum, struggling to make enough soup for my sister and me decided to mix together some cream of tomato with some cream of chicken. My mum eventually convinced me to try it saying it was different. I liked it and ate it. So then on she would tell me she was mixing together the two flavours but only ever giving me to the cream of tomato.

My dad could never understand my fussiness. Everyone else in the family were 'good' eaters. There were a few random dislikes, like my sister not liking cream or sausages, but generally everyone ate what they were given. I therefore became known as Debbie Don't Like! Anytime, my dad heard there was something new I didn't like, he'd question me about it then "oh it's Debbie Don't Like again". Even if it was the same thing I had said I didn't like last week, he would start again.

The biggest 'cure' to my fussiness was peer pressure as I reached adulthood (going to people's houses for dinner) and then I bravely volunteered to join the Entertainment Committee at work. I knew I was fussy but I had a good idea of what 'normal' people liked and disliked so would choose a menu for them and not myself. On the actual night, I would choose the least revolting sounding dish from the selected menu and was often pleasantly surprised when it turned up and I liked it. My tastes grew and I got more adventurous. 

It is no wonder, I've learnt from their mistakes and was determined my children wouldn't be fussy like I was. It is highly likely, if they had just let me be and I was introduced to new tastes in my own time then I probably would've had a very different attitude to food.

But I guess, I turned out alright in the end :o).

Stormy Waters

I listen to them roar as they rush upon the shore.
Hungrily searching and dangerously lurching.
Sucking seaweed and shells back into dark angry swells.
Their beauty and power, looking to devour
The week and weary; hunting, nearly!
Their thunderous cry matches that of the sky
Deafening as silence as they approach with violence.
They rush upon the shore as I listen to them roar.

Silent Sunday

Nine Months to Target

Over  the last few weeks I have been hovering around my target of 9st 12lb and then this week I was bang on so I have switched to maintenance and thought I should do an update post!

Stuart and I had switched to Monday & Wednesday for our fast days (previously Monday and Thursday) as Stuart started playing football on a Wednesday and doing the fast day on the same day fitted better with meals etc. It appeared to work well for both of us dieting wise too. I’d often see a good weightloss on a Thursday but even after eating normally on a Thursday and usually drinking, I’d lose weight again on the Friday (I only ever counted the Friday weigh in, I know you aren’t meant to weigh yourself too often but was just curious to see the pattern).

To remind you what my starting statistics were:

Weight: 10st 12.2lb
Body fat: 16.6%
BMI: 24.4
Chest: 35”; Waist: 37”; Hips: 42”; and Thigh: 23”

and now my final statistics are:

Weight: 9st 12lb
Body fat: aprox 15.6
BMI: aprox 22
Chest: 35”; Waist: 35”; Hips: 39”; and Thigh: 21.5”

(A reminder that my height is 5’6” – body fat & BMI are aproximate as I didn’t take note of them when I weighed myself yesterday.)

So, in 9 months, a total of 1 stone off and 6.5 inches. I wish I had a decent before and after photo but I didn’t take starting photos in January and then only took photos after on days when I was feeling slim. This is the best I could do (remember I didn’t actually have a lot to lose as I was already healthy BMI). The first photos were taken on a ‘slim’ day in February and the second lot were taken today.

I’m happy with how I look and feel and as I’ve reached my target I’m now switching to fasting just one day a week. Though, to start with, I’ll still be watching what I’m eating on the now non-fast day just to see how it affects my weight, I wont be restricting myself to 500 calories and I intend to eat 3 meals a day instead of 2.

Today is the first day that should have been a fast day and it does feel weird to eat but this whole experience has taught me some better habits. Things like, when making the kids dinner, I don’t snack as I’m making it and don’t automatically finish up whatever they leave.

I’ve also enjoyed having some days where I don’t drink any alcohol. I eat a lot less chocolate and enjoy more fruit and vegetables.

As I said at the beginning of starting the 5:2 Lifestyle, it wasn’t all about losing weight it was about improving health. The overall thing I think I’ve noticed healthwise is the speed in which I get over colds. I’ve never been a ‘sick’ person and don’t tend to catch many colds/viruses so it isn’t overly noticeable whether I’ve caught less in the last 9 months but I have often felt run down like I’m going down with something but then it has gone the next day and never actually materialises. Anything that is a little more stubborn I seem to recover from a lot quicker.

On the downside, I do get more headaches on fast days but think that is when I don’t drink enough water. I have also suffered from sleep paralysis about half a dozen times (which is more frequently than previously) and it appears to happen on the night that follows the day I’ve been fasting. This can’t solely be attributed to fasting, however, because it also relates to periods when I’m having more irregular sleep patterns due to Millie waking.

Unfortunately, exercise has fallen by the weyside since my holiday in June so I do intend to get back on it in the near future. I fully expect my weight to increase a little as the fat turns to muscle but I’m OK with that because I also expect to see the wobbly bits go a little less wobbly. Like I said above, I am now happy with how I look – which means I am happy with my overall silhouette. I don’t think I want to lose any more fat just through dieting and think I need to tone up now to improve my figure further. Therefore, weight is now less important if that makes sense.

Silent Sunday

 

Silent Sunday

Sleep paralysis dream: The girl with no face

It's been a while since this happened but my sleep has been up the wall again over the last week - week and a half. Some of it insomnia, some of it Millie related, some of it  self-inflicted. So it is no real surprise I suffered from a sleep paralysis attack again last night. The dream started fine & not scary but the sleep paralysis always leaves me frightened when I wake.

Here it is. Feel free to analyse before I have a go at doing so later.

I am camping/caravaning with a mixture of friends & family. I can't remember much of this stage of the dream. Then the same people go back to my aunt & uncle's house. The house is very clean & modern. It's not a house I recognise in waking life but the layout of back of house merges into that of my old family home. My niece Sofia & cousin's daughter Rosie go into the garden (which is similar but smaller than the garden in my old family home...this is the house/garden that always appears in my dreams) where a few of us are already standing. They jump on something next to where my friend Jo is lying down snoozing. My aunt tells us about there being invisible things in the garden. We then noticed Sofia & Rosie are playing on a playground apparatus (bit like a cross between a seesaw and a roundabout but smaller, it bounces & goes round - there's one at the quomps playground in Christchurch) but it is invisible. Jo gets really annoyed as they were virtually on top of her & she wanted to sleep. Uncle rick is making tea inside the house. I overhear my aunt tell my mum that she is disappointed that no one was offering to help Uncle Rick & that she felt everyone was taking advantage/being ungrateful or something & I am embarrassed as they are my friends & are being rude to my aunt & uncle as hosts.

The next thing, one of my friends & I are in a shop looking for a present for my aunt & uncle. Lots of pretty crystals & shells. There is a medium you can pay to see in another room - we aren't interested but see others going in. Then a disabled man comes in & breaks down to this man me & my friend are talking to. He is desperate for some mobility assistance around his house to improve his standard of living (man about 60). I felt it was unfair that he could hardly move & was reduced to begging for help when you can tell he is a proud man whereas a different girl we knew was a lot less disabled but all the help going had been thrown at her without her having to try. I was crying for the man, my heart was breaking for him.

Suddenly I'm in bed asleep, it's dark & a woman comes in to the from & up to the side of the bed where I'm sleeping & wakes me. I'm surprised at her bursting in & at first I think its the psychic, then think its someone (a nurse) who is offering assistance to the man. I question her and ask who she is. She doesn't speak, she has no face but I can tell she is smiling. I try to reach out to touch her face to find out who she is while asking her. She doesn't reply & I can't move. I'm getting scared & don't like her there smiling but not talking to me but I can't move. I'm paralysed. Then I wake.

ETA: on my 'wake me up I can't breathe' post I wondered whether these attacks are more likely to happen on a fast day so I thought it was worth logging that this also happened on a fast day.