Window shopping and a door or two and maybe some walls and a roof…

So the hunt is on! We are looking for a new house to buy! I’m having so much fun!

Now, what girl doesn’t like shopping? Well, me actually, when it is clothes shopping or food shopping! I am actually a crap girl where that kind of shopping is concerned. I can’t stand sales as I am usually looking for something in particular and they take all the usual stock off the shelves. I’ll be more than happy paying full price, I just want whatever that thing is but can’t find it! Otherwise, if I purposely go sale shopping I get there too late for anything good to still be left. I can’t be doing that queuing at the crack of dawn stuff to bustle all the other ladies out of the way just so I can grab a bargain!  I remember my sister going to the Next sale at 8.5 months pregnant and the other women were taking no prisoners, pregnant or not! I just can’t be doing that.

Anyway, I digress slightly.

House shopping is totally different! You get to go and have a good old nosey at other peoples houses saying “I like that bathroom but no, the garden’s too small” and “Yes, well the whole thing needs decorating and modernising”.

And some of the houses you see.  Some are like walking back in time – they’ve actually made me a little sentimental as they often remind me of my late Nan. The same walnut and glass cabinets containing dodgy porcelain ornaments and ornamental plates, the same gaudy carpets which clash with the chintz wallpaper that’s a different chintz to the 3 piece suite and most of all, the same musty smell! I love you Nan!

Then there are the houses that are just stunning – probably above your budget but you go to see them anyway because you can’t resist, telling yourself they may drop 50k, you never know…!

We have very particular criteria, like people often do when they are buying house, but may not be the usual things the Estate Agent expects to hear:

1. There must be a downstairs loo, sorry ‘cloakroom’
2. There must be a dishwasher or room to put a dishwasher
3. It must be perfectly decorated or needs very little doing to it, and finished to a high spec! After moving into our last property that was ‘liveable’ but needed a bit of decorating, new bathroom (I mean, mint green suite and brown flower tiles!!!) and ideally a new kitchen when we moved in and still needed mostly redecorating (we had done the 3 bedrooms) and desperately needed a new kitchen when we moved out 6 years later (having only just done the bathroom!)– we know we just aren’t cut out for decorating/renovating a house, as lovely as the theory might be. Even with my Dad (DIY man & decorator extraordinaire) just up the road this time – we don’t want to take any risks!
4. Preferably, not too big a garden – enough to stick a trampoline in and to sit out and enjoy with a bbq in the summer. Having had lovely quite big gardens in the past that I just couldn’t keep up with the maintenance for – I want to be a bit more realistic with my gardening skills (or lack of them) this time

There are others too, like number of bedrooms, guest room/study space etc but the above are what’s important to us!

Its also a bit like playing a game of top trumps.

You go to see a house and you do all the oohs and ahhs that the Estate Agent wants to hear and they tell you to get in quick if you want a second viewing. You are even contemplating the second viewing. Then you go to the next house and it trumps the last one so when Estate Agent A calls you have to say sorry, no, Estate Agent B has just shown me better house than yours, we’re not interested any more. So Estate Agent A says, have you seen this house then? And true enough, it is again even better than the last one.

Although, I am a little nervous as we haven’t got our mortgage in principle done yet so its a bit like shopping with a brand new credit card but you haven’t found out the limit! But then you can also kid yourself its free unlimited money that means you can afford that stunning perfect mansion!

And its easy to keep going higher when you don’t have a set budget yet. You look at what you think you can afford and you are relatively happy with that.Then you look at the next band up and think wow, they look lovely, think how much better it would be if we had that much to spend. You do some calculations and, good news, you can save a bit here and stretch a bit there, settle for 10% deposit instead of 15% and who needs chairs to sit on and an oven to cook on anyway? and you realise you can afford the next band up, then you see the band above that…and so on! Greed, I guess it is! We always want more and always think we deserve more!

Ultimately, I must remember, I just want a cosy and safe place to bring up my family – the home is what you make it, after all! Was going to say “as long as its full of love” but that’s just a little bit too cheesy!

So, bring on the next house!

A Day Trip to London

Firstly, lets just get this clear, I used to live in London. I lived in Balham for about 2 years and then South Wimbledon for another 18 months.I had worked in London way before I first moved there – straight from college at 18 in fact! I am no stranger to London!!!
So, why was it, I found myself giddy as a schoolgirl on a train to London for a day class for my CIPD course?
Because I felt like me again!
As I looked around at my fellow passengers, guessing what their story was? Where were they going? Who were they going to meet? I realised that they, too, might be wondering the same about me. Did they know I was married with a son – well the engagement ring and wedding ring might have given away the marriage but what about the rest of me. I was just like them…a stranger, a mystery. For some reason, I don’t feel like this when I’m with Callum. Everyone knows I’m a mother and that’s all they see. That overshadows everything else I might be so being just me, on my own, makes me feel like I’m my own person again. Not just someone’s mother and someone’s wife! I had a life once, I had a job – I used to travel the world as part of my job and I loved it! I feel a long way away from that right now!
So that is why I found myself excited to be venturing on a trip to London.
Giddy with excitement, I bought a little bottle of red wine from the little drinks/food cart. Hmmm, why is it, when I bought/chose a bottle of wine when on my own on a plane, I felt classy but on a train, I felt like a desperate alcoholic. Probably, you might say, is because I am certainly a desperate wino and a close step behind being a desperate alcoholic but, “nah nah nah nah nah” I can’t hear you, I’ve got my fingers in my ears!
I spend a very enjoyable evening with my friend who cooks for me a reminiscent spaghetti bolognaise (used to be a common ‘mince’ theme whenever we (and another friend) got together for dinner in our London days) drinking lots of red wine and then I head off for my course from her house the next day.
Then its the part of London I do not miss! The reason I used to get to work for 8am rather than the expected 9am! The PUBLIC TRANSPORT!!! (sorry for the shouting but they are two words that, in London, make me want to shout). I have an hour to get from Clapham Junction to my course in Portland Place. Theoretically, given that the crow could fly it in about 5 minutes, this should be plenty of time! I get to Clapham Junction and have to let two tins pass before I am rewarded with my own place as a sardine along the other fishy fellows otherwise known as commuters (I’d like to say that was just a metaphor but at the close proximity we shared, I’m not so sure if it was only that). While I twisted my arm backwards to hold on to a bar to stop myself ending up on someone’s lap I had to endure the snooty looks from a lady with enough breathing space to blow a bubble (a premium on these rush hour trains) because I just happened to touch her hair. Are you kidding me woman? Would you rather I lurched forward and hugged you as the train jolted forward because I didn’t break my arm trying to hold on?
Then I get to waterloo and have to make the decision – bus or tube? I need to get to Oxford Street (well Portland Place) so either 4 stops on the Bakerloo line or a shortish journey by bus. Hmmm….which will be quicker? I’ve still 30 mins to make my course so plenty of time for either and even time for picking up brekkie and a cup of tea on the way. I go for tube. I get down to the tube and join the back of the queue no where near the tube platform but I am pleased that after the first train comes and goes, I make it easily onto the platform. I even get a good space. Then I wait, and wait, and people cram in behind me, making the sardine experience of the overland train suddenly feel like the gulf between two strangers on a bench (worlds apart!). I should’ve taken the bus! Too late now! No chance of going back the way I came and all I can do is wait some more! Which is when the announcement comes that not only is the service part suspended on the Southbound train but there are severe delays now on the Northbound train (I’m Northbound). I check the time – 08:56! Its not gonna happen, the course starts at 9am – I’m not getting to my course on time!
Thankfully, I don’t miss anything of importance (as I’d already covered the material they went over first on a previous session) and am only 30-45 minutes late and the person after me was 2-3 hours late.
So after the study day is done, I’m left with a 2 hour wait for my train home (part of the deal to get the cheaper tickets!).
Bearing in mind that while I lived in London, I only saw two famous people – Ainsley Harriet who borrowed my lighter because I smoked the same cigarettes and, I’m clutching at Z list celebs here, Brian (the gay one) from a distance on the Clapham South tube station platform – why did I now find myself on Waterloo Station concourse expecting that, any minute now, a famous person was going to cross my path. Several times I saw a look-a-likey! I’d turned into a non-Londoner – someone that gets over-awed with London and thinks that if you come from London, you must know '”my mate Ian Roberts,he lives in London” and believes that the likes of Kate Moss and Ray Whinstone are casual acquaintance of every Londoner and at the very least real Londoners must bump into them in the street on a weekly basis!
Unsurprisingly, in my two hour wait, no one famous crosses my path and my train eventually appears on the board – platform 11. However, front 4 coaches go to Weymouth, rear 5 coaches go to Bournemouth. So, I jump on nice and early in the first 5 coaches as I get off before Bournemouth at my parent’s in New Milton. Then, just as the train leaves and everyone else has taken their seating/standing position, they announce that those getting off at New Milton (and another several stations) need to be in the front 4 coaches due to short platforms!! I have to leave my nice comfortable seat to wonder up the train in that manner that says “I know how to walk up a moving train” but failing badly as there is a sudden BIG jolt from the train finding me close to sitting on some poor unsuspecting guy’s lap and narrowly missing flattening his laptop with my hand because, ironically, it wasn’t on his lap it was on a table which is where I put my hand to steady myself. Good job it wasn’t his lap as that may have been a tad embarrassing! Thankfully, as I make it to the front carriages, the train is a lot less busy and seats are in abundance so I find another comfortable seat for the remainder of my journey. Feeling tired and a little bit sad that I’m going to wake up tomorrow a Mum again but thinking, I’ve missed my little man.
Then, at 5am the next day as I’m being kicked in the kidneys by aforementioned missed little man, I re-evaluate…is London transport really that bad….?

Oops! Catch up!

So, found myself recently writing blog posts in my head and my laptop time just can't keep up with me!!! Thought it was about time to reconnect with this blog and to start posting again to get what's in my head, taking up valuable organisation and OCD space, out so I can get back to my organising and OCD!

So, the major update that overrules any other....WE HAVE MOVED!

Here we now are living in Bournemouth!

We are currently living in a nice little 2 bed cottage in between Bournemouth and Boscombe. Just renting at the moment but are already on the hunt for our next house to buy. We are 10 minutes from the beach (*does a little dance), about a 15 minute pushchair walk (times by 10 when the 3 year old decides he wants to walk/meander) or 5 minutes by the many frequent buses that drive past our house into Bournemouth centre – to where all the shops are, 25 minutes from my parents and brother & sister-in-law with their offspring, less than 20 minutes from my sister & brother-in-law with their offspring – that’s all on the upside. On the downside, we are further from my in-laws, our friends in The Ming and to get into London without taking out a loan to pay for it, requires months of forward planning (to go there and back in one day is just short of £100 unless you are lucky enough to get well in advance tickets or go up the day before!! but that's another blog post!). 

Anyway, here is a picture of our little house.

Looking back now, the actual move wasn’t too bad. It had its stressful moments and its not so stressful moments. Callum was a dream and was ready to move as soon as we said go – in fact he didn’t want to go back inside the house or especially inside his room on the last day for some fear he was going to be left there or something.

Following the move was a hell of a lot more stress – for me at least, think Stuart is still in awe of his 7 minute walk to work – if you haven’t heard about it, count yourselves as one of the few. Reading back at my previous post I said I generally look forward to change but am often disappointed later when things don’t go as well as I anticipate. Well, yeah, that! I had a hard time adjusting. I’ve gone from being full time employed around friends in an environment I feel comfortable, familiar, to being a full time mum trying to arrange utility bills, change addresses around trying to be a (bad) mum in an unfamiliar place a long way from my friends. It was tougher than I expected and by the time we went on holiday to Portugal a few weeks later, lets just say it was a holiday much needed.

I came back from Portugal a much more chilled person and, more importantly, so was Callum! I found I could get stuff/chores/phonecalls done without too much protest from Callum and could then start to really enjoy being with Callum and all that being a Stay At Home Mum (SAHM) entails.

So, for my other hopes for our life in Bournemouth, what have I achieved and what has already fallen by the weyside? Lets revisit them:

 

Stuart gets a better work-life balance so he gets to spend more quality time with Callum - maybe even do some father-son stuff together. Achieved – Stuart puts Callum to bed most nights and we have more quality time together at weekends, as a family, even if Stuart has to work some of it.

Stuart and I get to spend more couple time together so we can focus on our relationship again - feel like it has been put on the back burner for a couple of years now. Hmmm…next! Seriously, we’ve not got round to it yet. Being the time of year, my parents are being kept busy so I’ve not wanted to take advantage so early on (or later for that matter). We’ve not found any other form of babysitter yet. That said, we have taken advantage on more than a few occasions of our proximity to Bournemouth and the many restaurant’s it has to offer and have gone out for dinner as a family on a Friday/Saturday evening. As for just the two of us…yeah, we need to work on that!

Stuart and I can start going body-boarding properly rather than just an attempt when we go to Devon/Cornwall - I'll worry about fitting back into the wetsuit later... the closest I’ve got is to be sitting on the beach with Callum and an ice-cream while watching jealously as the surfers and bodyboards hit the waves! To be honest, there haven’t been ‘that’ many opportunities with the waves being pretty flat but when they’ve been there, there’s not a lot I can do about it! Not with Callum about! I even tried to find him his first wetsuit in the hope I could kinda take him with me but, not for at least another year. He is still far too skinny!

Callum will get to grow up near the sea and beach Yep! We are definitely taking full advantage of that. It has been lovely to just walk to the beach, even if it isn’t so sunny. However, we have been lucky in that we’ve been having unusually high temperatures in October! Yes, October! We actually spent a day on the beach, and even went in the sea (very very briefly…frrrrr) at the beginning of October! I can’t see us ever getting bored of it – I hope we don’t ever take it for granted!

I can start horseriding  I’ve made enquiries! At the moment, I just don’t have the time. I have Callum most days and when I don’t I am either running around the house like a blue-arsed fly (does anyone other than my mum use that expression?) trying to clean the house or I am studying still trying to complete my CIPD Certificate. The end is in sight for the studying though so hopefully, maybe, if money allows, I can pick this up. I’ve now got a few (hundred) other interests I’ve remembered that I want to get round to….lets try to name them! So there’s horseriding of course; drawing (chalks primarily); Reiki; drama (yes acting is still on the cards); body-boarding (as above); climbing; knitting (yes, I did just say knitting); jewellery making…I am sure there are more! Just when am I going to fit all of that into one lifetime, I don’t quite know???

Going running along the beach Yes! Yes! Yes! I can definitely say I’ve achieved that one! About half a dozen times now or move ranging from 2.3 to 3.8 miles! Its not making much difference to my fitness or the amount I am eating/putting on weight but maybe….yeah…just maybe

So, that will do for the moment! Hopefully this blog post provides an update of where we are today. I hope to keep posting to this now that I’ve got it up to date. Starting straight away with my next post “A Day Trip to London”.